In what seems like a blink of the eye, it's another fortnight gone! Gosh!! Where is my life and just how fast is everything in it changing??
Let me be honest, these first six weeks of Tu's life haven't been easy on us! First she got diagnosed with very severe jaundice and then we got stuck with a malicious pediatrician who thought he could leverage our parental anxiety to his commercial gain!! What it amounted to was a three week hospitalisation stint spent between gory blood/ urine tests for the baby and consulting some specialist surgeons/ doctors! For someone like me who has been in and out of hospitals almost all my life I was amazed to discover how different it all gets when you go thru the jig for your little one! 'Anxiety' was an entity that had crept into my everyday life and seemingly simple procedures that I haven't batted an eyelid for in the past , seemed dreadful when my daughter had to go through them. AJ and I are very blessed in that we have a family that rally around us like a protective cloak when the odds toughen... This instance was no different! My sisters and my in laws were at our beckon in no time at all- the initial few days as the doctor tossed us in and out of possible maladies such as haemolyses, IEM, intestinal obstruction, a malfunctioning liver etc these guys stood by us helping us assess and act as needed. maybe all parents go through this in the first six weeks (my heartless paediatrician kept telling us that) or maybe not.. Needless to say, each and every single day seemed like a freshly sprung nightmare on us!! :-( one thing though, this phase sure made me realise life had possibly changed FOREVER -this 2.9 kilo addition that had happened to us felt like a one ton mass ripping right through our lives... There was someone new in our lives and there was something new about our lives!
But it would be unfair if I said this was all that had happened in these six weeks! I was surprised to know that after seven years of marriage I seemingly didn't know a side of my husband at all - every instance he got to be with Tu his eyes would moisten and every minute he held her he cooed meaningless nothingummies at her... Anyone who knows AJ well would understand my bewilderment - was this really the 'no nonsense' husband I'd been married to all along?? ;-) Then I got to see my mother in law squealing in laughter every time Tu made a new face at her, suddenly she seemed giggles galore! My father in law stands a feet away from Tu saying 'helloooo hellooo' making me reminiscent of the STD calls we'd make to Vidya when she was away at a hostel 15 years ago!! Speaking of Vidya- she was the aunt with the magic touch!! No matter how bad a tantrum Tu was in the middle of, she'd magically stop n start cooing or gurgling if Vidya picked her up... Really?? My sister of 33 years, huccome I never knew this about you??? :-)) Last but not the least my eldest sister Viji- my eyes popped out when I saw her singing to Tu.. In all my life I'd never heard her sing and here she'd go night after night cooing "row row row ya boat gently down the streeeam". Everyday it seems as if the people around me and my perception of them are changing... A look in the mirror tells me I have changed too... Tu has given me the excuse to meet, laugh and cry with all these folks! Never before have I felt this vulnerable and this needy at the same time! Never before have I felt this compelled to 'act' either...something about this little baby makes me want to act, react and correct everything that is happening around me. So if I have to be completely honest, these last 6 weeks has brought in my life a new 'me' and that I guess is the true someone 'new' in my life- the person I am still grappling to meet eye to eye and acknowledge....
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